Can't hold on Forever..

You cant hang on to the past forever. You can't hang onto the what ifs.. You can hang on to everything and let it bring you down, or you can learn to forgive and move on.. Even though it will be one of the hardest things you'll have to do ,in the end it will be worth it. Hanging onto lost hopes is like getting sucked into a black hole of repeated darkness and depression. Place things in Gods hands and allow him to guide you into the light of your future and leave your dark past behind you. We only live once and If we let every little things hold us back from becoming everything that we can be then what are we living for? Live to please yourself before others. Place your faith in God and Let him guide you down the path he has chosen for you. Be all that you can be.  “If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.” 
― C. JoyBell C.    #ThisCrazyWorldWeCallHome

Do you Trust Me?

Trust in a relationship is very important. It insures us that we don't have to worry about the other running around behind our backs. But for those of us who can't find the trust , there's nothing for us to do other then wait on the side line waiting for the other spouse to slip up and for the truth to come out. But that's just the thing you never know what will come to the surface, and when it does your left wondering what you did to cause the out come of they're action's. Life has a funny way of throwing things at us, weather we can handle it or not. You have to try your best to correct everything. Weather the best thing is leaving your spouse or trying to work out the mistake. Life is crazy. Life's like a box of chocolate's.... You Never Know What Your Going To Get...In this CRAZY world we call home..

Time for changes , im not who I was before.

It takes losing a close friend or relative to realize that we aren't invincible. We can not avoid our ending, but we can live our life's to the fullest while we can.  We only have once to live this life. And I can honestly say I haven't given my life up to this point my all. I've lied , cheated , lost those closest to me ,even been in trouble with the law. But I can say that all of that has made me a better person. I've bettered myself. I left the drug life behind me , I've stoped drinking as much. Now it's my time to live everyday like it's my last and make every second count.

Judgement

The amount of judgement people go through on a daily basis , is ridiculous . Jimi Hendrix once said " I'm the one that's got to die when it's my time to die, So let me live my life the way I want to" Why can't everyone take that advise and get over them self's? We can't help the way we are. We won't change to make everyone around us happy, there's no point. They don't have to live our life's. We only live once and if we have to change who we are then what's the point?? We we're BORN THIS WAY!! While I was at a Pride event this past weekend I witnessed a group of judgemental people telling us to repent, because we are sinning ... but if I remember correctly judging other's is also a sin. That show's that there view's on the Gay community over run's their knowledge of the Bible. I have screwed up more then once in my life so far and I regret every thing wrong that I've done. I will not judge those around me. I have no reason or need to. In this crazy world we call home..

Parents bullshit

Today is my Parent's 8th wedding annivesiry.. and even after the message's and call's I still haven't heard anything from my parent's for what is going on to be 2 month's. My family has slowly disowned me one by one until now I have no one. It's like I don't exsist to them or matter anymore... I can't understand how my own parent's have done this. It feel's so heartless. I don't and probably won't ever understand how a parent can ignore there own child. Just like I can't understand why a parent would beat there child for coming out like my mother did to me when I did. I know when I have children they won't ever have to encounter what I did as a child and what I still have to face. I wish my parents's would relize how broken I am with out them , how lost I am. Im 18 Years old and out in this crazy world not knowing anything. My parent's have wrote me off , refusing to guide me and I know they love me I just wish they showed it. I wish they talked to me. I hope they come around andwant me to be a part of they're live's agian .... I just hope it's not to late. I hope by that time I haven't given up all my hope's of them coming around agian.. CrazyWorldWeCallHome

Heartbreaker's

Heartbreak... do you know what its like to lose someone you were so close to... To have them vanish in the blink of an eye, knowing that there is no possible way to ever see them in person again. Or have your spouse just up and leave you after everything you've been through together. How about when your family disowns you because you aren't who they want you to be. There become's this huge empty feeling inside of us . This unknown feeling of why . There wont be an explanation of why. We will have to sit and suffer and continuously wonder why. The pain will become unbearable at time's and the thought's of ending everything or just simply "vanishing" in hope's that everyone will forget you will constantly linger in our head's. Maybe then the pain and heartbreak will be gone.. Weather it's a death of a loved one or the divorce because of a cheating bastard , or even being disowned by your family , or for some other screwed up reason heartbreak will always be a part of life . It can't be dodged . There are no warning's. We must simply face it when we come face to face with it and fight though every second of heartbreaking pain. Maybe someday we will be able to be somewhat back to our normal self''s... #ThisCrazyWorldWeCallHome </3

Relationship's Part 2

How would you rate your relationship? Would you say that everything is great, no disagreements? That everything is hunky dory? In reality everyone thinks that everything is perfect but its really not. There isn't a so called "Perfect Relationship". I say this because in order to make your relationship work and last there has to be the occasional disagreement. You have to be able to work through things, it brings you closer as a couple. But there are those disagreement's that either make or break your relationship. Life isn't promised tomorrow and we should give our relationship's our all and not risk losing everything. The same goes for if you feel the need to cheat on your spouse , instead of risking everything you have for that little fling with someone else , sit down and talk to you spouse about what you feel like your missing in your love life. Work thing's out don't throw it all away for a "fling" that isn't guaranteed to be better then what you've already got. 

Relationship's

Relationship's aren't like they use to be. Before cell phone's and the Internet people had to go out and meet someone. They had to interact with other's. These days people meet online for the most part.40 Million American's use online dating service's. That's 40 million lazy ass people. People who are to lazy or scared to go out into the real world and interact with someone. They are relying on the Internet, which isn't safe at all, because you don't know who your really talking to. You don't really know who your talking to unless you arrange a face to face "date", or let's say they Skype or use some kind of video interaction. Those I can understand using and doing but if someone your talking to refuses to do either that should put up a red flag. People today are so screwed up in so many ways. You have your faithful people , your cheaters, your player's, your creep's and your omg  are you serious people. That's why I believe using the internet can be good and bad. If there aren't any "red flag's" then your good, but if there are get the hell outta dodge. You have to learn to trust and get out there. Be old school. After all this is the Crazy world we all call home .  

Boundaries

In my opinion Friends have boundaries. Like you don't date your best friend's brother/sister. You don't get upset and so to say "shut down" when something happens that each other doesn't agree with. Friend's especially so called "best friend's" are suppose to love and protect and support each other in every way, or at least work through the disagreements. Friends to me are extended family. Someone we love and care for just as much as our own families. I have noticed with my friends I am the go to person when they need advice, or a shoulder to cry on , or even to vent about something. I've been told that I care way to much about everyone else and not enough about myself, and to be honest its true. I repeatedly say I'm going to stop helping everyone and caring and focus on myself but I can't. I'm to big hearted to be able to do that. I hang my heart out on my sleeve for all to see. Many time's this has came back to bite me in the ass. But i can't change who I am, I love helping other's. Its just who and how I am. #InThisCrazyWorldWeCallHome

Chlidren

Children are a gift we give ourselves. Our children will be that little angel who we will love unconditionally for the rest of our life's. They shouldn't be abused , neglected, or judged. No one is perfect. God didn't make us perfect for a reason. As I take the next step in my life I have decided to have a child in the near future. To have a piece of myself to share with the world , to love and spoil. My child will not have to deal with the many thing's I had to encounter as a child. I believe as a parent it is our obligation to teach our children right and wrong and guide them in the right direction and if the choose to a different path to follow not to judge them but love and support them more . Stand by your kids and never let them forget where home is. Always have your door open for them. Show them they are loved and important, tell them they will grow in to a wonderful person. Let's face it our children wont be picture perfect. We can only hope that they become like us, but if they don't it's ok . Children Are A GIFT ,cherrish them. #CrazyWorldWeCallHome

Bullshit Treatment

I could sit here and blog about how well life is or that all are equal... Reality is both are false. I say this because as A lesbian I don't have equal rights here in North Carolina . At least not yet. But anyway my life is far from perfect and it won't ever be perfect because nothing or no one is perfect. I have had a very ruff life growing up and since I've come out to my parents things have changed and the reality of people perspective's on there children when they don't become what they want them to has become clear. If we don't become the so called "perfect" image that they've spent our life's so far trying so hard create, then we are no good to them. They can't accept us for who we are. I'm an example in a few ways. My mother degraded me everyday for months on end . My father and Step mother dealt with my sexuality until I was able to date someone local, therefore they then kicked me out of there home knowing I had no one and no where to go to. Here it is exactly one month today. And I have come to realize that this world isn't just the crazy world we call home , it is the most judgmental and politically incorrect place and makes no since to me why God has allowed us to receive this punishment and pain because bible throwing assholes can't accept us for who we are. #CrazyFuckedUpWorld

Immature people

Whats does the past mean to you? To me it means certain thing's should me remembered and loved . The other pieces of your past sound be just that ... the PAST. I have an ex who today thought it would be in her best interest to judge me on a certain piece of my past and refused to leave well enough alone like she should have. She decided to judge me on this subject that she knows absolutely nothing about , and showed how immature she really is by have her friend's get involved . Immaturity in these almost adults show's that they won't be growing up and time soon. One day this immaturity will reflect on them and there hateful words will come back to bite them in the ass. Because Karma is a bitch. #CrazyWorldWeCallHome

"DRAMA"

dose anyone really know why this world has to have drama? i really think that some people live for the latest drama thats going around. for me i know some one who has to live away from there parents with another family member because of some problems at home. but now the people she lives with are trying to screw her life up as much as they can because they get in trouble more than she dose. and if the lies from these people come out she wont be able to see her parents anymore,or for a while. i wish that this "crazy world we call home" was drama free and that we could all just live peaceful,happy lives together!!! pray for those in need,and lets all be drama free!!!!

Family Matters !!

Family! Almost everyone has one. With out them what would we have? For all of us who are lucky to have mothers and fathers and all of are extended family we really don't think about those who don't. Im talking about the children in foster care who don't have a home or family to call there own. As of 2005 their were approximately 513,000 children in foster care in the United States. Thats roughly 7 out of every 1000 American children. 54% of those children earn a high school diploma, 2% earn a Bachelors degree or higher. 84% become parents to soon, exposing their children to a repeated cycle of neglect and abuse. Another 51% are unemployed, 30% have no health insurance, and 30% receive public assistance. If people would show these children as much love and support that our families show us there would be no problems  with children being un loved. Then there would be more children graduating from high school and then later on collage. All this crazy world we call home needs is love and support.

Our nations Troops!

What would become of the world if we didn't have our nations men and women who we all love and should support? Some people really don't understand what they go through just to keep all of us safe. For most of us we know of someone or have loved ones serving our country and risking their lives to protect us. Now people say the ''War" is over ,but it really isn't ! Truthfully  I belive that it is far from over . Only God knows of what will become of all of us and the ''Crazy World We Call Home!''